M...a Stupid Guy

Its 4.40 AM in the morning and as always I am not at all feeling sleepy. My stock of Dairy milk which I bought to use as anti-depressant over the weekend is finished and the depression fit has just began. So as a second best option after chocolates I am here scribbling down a post for my blog.

What does “being serious about life” means? I think I have been hearing this phrase a lot these days. I say I think because the very moment someone start to give me ‘Gyan’ about life I just turn off my listening device because according to me I don’t think I am not serious about life. I may not look serious, I may not utter my serious plans but I am very seriously working to seriously achieve serious targets. This post is seriously turning very serious. Wasn’t this supposed to be the second best thing after dairy milk? Oh god! Why didn’t I buy more of chocolates? So going ahead on a serious note….no just going ahead…Let me write a story about a very stupid boy who thought he is smart.

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M was very happy today, he found a razor lying on the table. Now M was a very naughty 5 year old kid, his parents made sure that he never gets access to razors and scissors. Just a month back he has cut open an audio cassette just to check whether the audio cassette was like a “Chirag” which housed "Djinn" to sing the songs or not. So M was kind of on cloud nine when he picked up the razor. He couldn’t believe his luck; he has been vying for a razor since many days. Although M was too young to understand the quote “When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” but I am sure he must have felt something very close to that feeling.  “I need to check razor’s sharpness”, he thought to himself. He was well versed with scientific procedure of experimenting and only then believing. He tried to check the sharpness on pieces of paper first. “Yeah it’s sharp”, he said in an enthusiastic tone. But then he realized he needed to check on something hard as he would soon be using it on such material. So he engraved his name on the arm rest of a sofa. Satisfied with the sharpness of the weapon he possessed he started for his final task. He went to the roof of his house, used a long stick to pull the main electricity lines (power cables from electricity pole to his house) into his hands and with one swift motion tried to cut the wire with the razor. What followed was a sound of a cracker bursting.

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That stupid guy M was me and I am very lucky to be alive still. My thumb and index finger were burnt but I was able to hide the injury from my parents. I really don’t know what led me to do this stupid act, what was I thinking but now I laugh on my stupidity and thank god for making me learn the lesson in a bit of soft way. I could have been dead or alive with a serious disability.  

I did tell this story to my Dad but only after 16 years and I still had no answer to question why did I do it? Stupid Me!!

God is there for you.

Thing to remember is that God is there for you,

He favors the one, who is always true,

For him you are among the wonderful few,

He’ll make sure with all his force,

That to your worries you bid an adieu.

Don’t listen to what others have to say,

They have a tendency; every-time saying nay,

Always standing in successful one’s way,

Not known to them is fact,

That for such acts they have to pay.

He is not the one to leave you on edge,

In his kingdom there are no fallacies no hedge,

No one can hide their wrongdoings or the grudge,

So the one who was bad to you here,

Will be punished there, that’s his pledge.

Thing to remember is that God is there for you,

He favors the one, who is always true.

Anger Management for me? naaa!!

I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life - MK Gandhi

I just love to fight, well not the brawls which involve punches being thrown on the face, into your gut but the other kind of fights which involve me getting into a verbal duel with people. I am an ardent supporter of modified version of MK Gandhi's non-violence theory which takes into account the physical violence as the only form of violence and believe in what Sir Jack Sparrow says “Why fight when we can talk ;)”.

It’s not that I am a glutton for verbal duels (although sometimes I do like to remember some of these fights so as to laugh out loud) but I have a very low specific heat as described by one of my friend and thus I tend to heat up very quickly and in the heat of the moment my tongue just becomes more efficient, more vicious in sarcasm and profanity. I try everything to control my anger which involves me biting my tongue, counting in reverse but to other person’s hard luck nothing works and it ends with other person being thrashed to pieces with words and finally leading to their death in my universe :P.

Although it is not at all advantageous to be involved in such fights but I opt for it only when there is no other option left and yes taking up diplomatic talk to avoid such fights is a strict no for me, better to fight and annoy the person than to butter them up and annoy yourself.

I don't believe in physical violence, but I have learned not to bow my head before any one even at the cost of my life and this is where my tongue helps me out - Skywalker

The Motivator

This is for the person whose continuous motivation has helped me in reviving this blog. I stopped writing on my blog due to the feeling that I am not writing anything worthwhile but your continuous support brought the belief required to write and publish my writings. I will take this opportunity to let you know that you are a precious reader I have for my writings and I now know that even if no one reads my post, you surely will and that is a belief which is enough for me to write.

Awful

Days don’t pass; you are neither awake nor asleep,

In the darkness of the night; your lonely heart weeps,

You sowed a seed of love’s tree in your mind,

But sadly it bears no fruit, so you can’t reap.

When you start to love some one, it never hurts,

It’s an awesome feeling; a feeling of comfort,

But slowly it starts turning awful,

When you realize that the other person doesn’t reverts.

Ever thine, never mine.

Love, for few is something which induces change in chemical composition of their brain, for others it is something which changes the way they spend rest of their life. For me it is the reason I have a blog, it is the reason I have written so many prose’ (although I have written lots of other stuff also), & Love (or should I say one-sided love) is the topic on which I am going to write this post on completion of three years of my blog as this blog is my love child ;).

I don’t have an experience in love but if you take one-sided love/infatuation/crush/any random liking into account, then I can say I am very experienced. Similar to love, one-sided love also has side effects, prominent among those is belief that you are in love when you actually are not. If you think about your situation after you have come out of such love you will surely laugh, but at that moment it’s surely not funny. Also you will notice many of your friends who are not in a relationship are the first ones to advice you on how to woo the other person. I just have one question for them, if you are such an expert why don’t you try and implement the advices for yourself?

There is a quote by Fyodor Dostoevsky “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid” but after all the experiences I feel it’s better not to show and be silent than to show and be vulnerable. What is more difficult? Not saying something ever or saying something very late? I feel not saying is a much better option because in that way you are not at mercy of other person, you have your emotions to your self and you surely know how to control them.

I’ll end this post with following lines & a favorite song of mine for such love :)

If you don’t believe my emotion,

You don’t deserve the truth,

How could you have my devotion?

When you don’t reciprocate.

Words should be left unsaid,

And I think its best that way,

Keeping truth with me only,

Sharing the lie, instead!

A change

Many people blog anonymously on blogger, no one knows their identity and there are few like me who although post with a fake name don’t possess that secrecy. Sometimes I feel I missed the trick, there are topics on which I want to write but I can’t because it will bring lots and lots of questions from my friends whom I have forced to follow my blog. I know they won’t comment on general posts of mine but in case I am to write something controversial they will be the first ones to comment on it. So I always avoid writing such posts.

But now I have decided to write on such topics, so as to keep this blog alive because I am facing creative crunch & deficiency.