When you just can't

Sometimes there comes a person in your life with whom you are so close over the time that you are sharing your apprehensions, your ambitions,  your secrets and what not. And over the time as you two fly away,  there are instances you crave for the past moments. 

Suddenly you have a fear that you want to tell to that person but you no longer can't. Somehow this moment is worst than any other moment you miss because this moment leads to a sad realisation.... 

Golden Memories!

Time changes many things
But some stay forever,
Its difficult to maintain ones feelings,
When regularly a new facet you discover.

How to describe moments
which can't be described,
Difficult it is to pen them down,
Such things can only be experienced,
Like the fragrance of blossoming bud.

How to say things
Which are better left unsaid,
And still are out there in open.
Such words can only be expressed,
With the twinkle of an eye.

Such were the moments spent,
And such were the things said.

Corrupted laws of tolerance

A post after a long time for Indian Politicians. Following are the Six Corrupted Laws of Tolerance for an Indian Politician.

1st Law of Tolerance: For a politician of India there is a maximum and minimum limit of corruption which defines his livability in politics. Hence no corruption less chance of livability.

2nd Law of Tolerance: Within the range of corruption there is a optimum value of corruption at which the concentration of wealth is maximum for politicians.

3rd Law of Tolerance: On the basis of tolerance to Public Outcry, CBI Cases and Sting Operations politicians are classified into two categories
- High Ranging Tolerance (Very Thick Skinned) e.g Mayawati and Mulayam Singh with lots of CBI Cases
- Narrow Ranging Tolerance (Thick Skinned) e.g Bangaru Laxman, couldn't even survive a sting operation of 1 Lakh Rupees

4th Law of Tolerance: Though  politicians with Wide Range of tolerance are widely present but it the Narrow Range ones who are having maximum concentration of wealth. e.g Sharad Pawar(maximum wealth and no CBI Cases).

5th Law of Tolerance: All politicians have different levels of tolerance for different factors. e.g. Mulayam Singh least tolerant to CBI Cases and Naveen Jindal to Sting Operations.

6th Law of Tolerance: If the supply of any of the factors like Public Outcry or CBI Cases or Sting Operations increases, it reduces the politicians tolerance to other factors. Thus if there are 3 or 4 CBI cases against a politician a simple sting operation or a small public outcry is enough for his fortune going downwards. e.g When lots of cases were opened against A. Raja in 2G scam he had to resign after outcry of opposition only.

7th Law of Tolerance: Irrespective of the range of tolerance (wide or narrow) and/or extent of public outcry/cases (more or less), the public has to infinitely tolerate the infinitely intolerable politicians.

Weird thought, Is it?

If I could travel faster than the speed of light and travel into the past, will I be able to change it or my momentum will make it impossible for me to physically change the past and will keep me invisible to my past instance so that when my past instance arrives back into the time from where in the future I travelled from I would have no more of me there as I had already travelled and my past instance will replace my future instance in the present and carry on with my life. Only problem is that will my previous future instance still be travelling therefore there will be more than one of me in existence.

Yeah that's me thinking!

a lot nowadays

Nya Saal, Nya Maal!!

Well these are my New Year resolutions from which I can revert at any moment during the year:

-           No more cribbing about things gone by, subject to my convenience.

-           Looking forward to doing things in a different way, subject to my convenience.

-           Will try to be patient, subject to my convenience.

-           Try to be less angry, subject to my convenience.

-           Will post regularly on my blog which again is subject to my convenience.
-           Will surely buy a car for my convenience.



A very happy new year to everyone reading this post and commenting, subject to their convenience.

Be Selfish

Tum logon ki is duniya mein,
Har kadam pe insaan galat,
Main sahi samajh ke jo bhi karoon,
Tum kehte ho galat !
Main galat hoon toh phir kaun sahi,
Marzi se jeene ki bhi main,
Kya tum sabko arzi doon,
Matlab ki tum sab ka mujh pe,
Mujh se bhi zyada haq hai.

Conscience is an aptitude, faculty, intuition or judgment of the intellect that distinguishes right from wrong. I say, to hell with Conscience. It is the most overrated thing in this world. There is nothing right or wrong, everything about good and bad is fed to us over the life time, we should not do this, we should not be like that. Most of the times anything which will lead to your well being only will be tagged by other as wrong, selfish and against the existing norms of the society and if you do something which involves sacrifice from your side, it will be termed as your generousness, a virtue.

According to Charles Darwin only fittest will survive (those who are concerned about their well being only) and not those who are helping out others. Why do we try to live life the way others wants us to live, why to bother about what others will think on you doing a particular things? Only thing one should be concerned about is his/her own well being. Be Selfish and Be Happy!!!

When?

"Never make some one a priority in your life when you are still an option in there’s"

I think I don’t follow the above saying. Time and again in my life I have inflicted a great pain to myself by making a person like that priority in my life. I don’t know whom to blame for this. Its not that you meet a person and realize straightaway that you are just an option in their life, it takes time to know whether you are an option or you mean something to them. And it is this time span which causes the entire problem, How can I just change how I interact with someone, how I feel for someone, what someone means to me, just like that. 

Good times rush past and after that it’s just the memories which remain but how much time does it take for memories to fade. Although good there are some memories which one doesn't want to remember forever because they only cause pain. People say with time everything will be fine, but how much time it is going to take?

Kyunki Fighter humesha jeet ta hai!!!

There was a time when I wanted to be freedom fighter; and then there was time when I wanted to be an army officer; and then there was time when I wanted to be an engineer. My dreams kept on changing with time but i never gave up because i used to have a very good hand writing and that good hand writing was attributed to "fighter" series of Rotomac pen, which had a tagline "kyunki fighter humesha jeet ta hai" (I wanted to justify the post title here)  and they did have another tagline too "likhte likhte love ho jaaye" but i didn' like Raveena tandon.

There was one thing which I realized pretty early in my life that I can't be an army officer because i never liked running, the only time I used to run was when some stray dog in the street used to bark at me. So as a 4 year old, I wanted to be the guy who sings inside the stereo we had because I liked the songs he sang. I destroyed three audio cassettes by puling out the magnetic tape so that I can find out who that person is but I was heart broken (almost a jaw broken too by the thrashing I got from my dad :P) as I could find no one there.

I left the aim of being the guy who sings inside the stereo and decided to be the guy who makes bowlers dance to his tunes; I wanted to be a cricketer like Sachin but as luck would have it I realized pretty soon that I couldn’t be a cricketer as I was not good at defending game; Also 1996 was the time of emergence of Rahul Dravid and VVS Laxman and not Ravindra Jadeja Yusuf Pathan, 20-20 was not invented/born till then else I could have been a great 20-20 IPL player atleast ;). People always tried to curb my attacking style of play which would have easily given Harbhajan Singh Virender Sehwag a run for his money. Heart broken again I left this dream of mine too so as to move forward.

In between I wanted to be a terrorist freedom fighter, about which I have written detailed account in my other post and simultaneously I wanted to be private detective too inspired by the TV series Byomkesh Bakshi but my habit of cross questioning didn’t go down well with my teachers at school, specially when I used to ask them the reason for asking me a particular question and not my friend. I still remember the case in which I uncovered the conspiracy involving the school’s bell boy and my social studies teacher wherein my SST period was always extended by full 45 seconds although no one showed any interest to my findings but I was really inspired by this quote MK Gandhi at that point of time “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win”. I don't know why but my case ended at laugh part only which shattered my dream of being Sherlock Holmes.

Finally I was in last year of my school and I wanted to be a doctor but the thought of studying for at least 10 more years just made me chicken out at last moment (I missed the cut off in entrance too but my failure can easily be attributed to psychological effect of the thought I had) and I joined engineering college and realized that I always wanted to be one, I loved playing with electricity, electric wires (some time live ones too) but soon I realized that engineering is not about electricity and electric wires only, it is about assignments, monthly tests and semester exams, if MBBS was 10 year pain then BE surely was 4 year torture in terms of workload we had.

So now I am an engineer but if you ask me I don’t like to be one because I don’t get the mental peace doing work I do and neither there is any satisfaction and I am saying all this because I think it sounds cool. To be true I feel I am working in best job which a person like me can have and I do get paid handsomely at the end of the month although I would not mind if the monetary benefit is increased because that will only increase my mental peace and satisfaction which really is an important aspect of one’s life.

Random thought.

There comes an instance in one's life when one has to choose between his/her dedication to a relation or his/her own benefit. no matter what others say, no matter if people turn against you for your decision but never choose your own benefit because although it will earn you satisfaction in short run but in longer run you will loose a relation which was build on the basis of trust.

People say that priority of a relation in one's life keep on changing but I feel some relations are there to be kept no matter what your priority is. We can't weigh everything in terms of pros and cons, there are always something's which are way above that.

Are you listening?

What the hell is wrong with my mind? why can't it forget few things, its 5 AM in the morning and I am not able to sleep because my mind is wandering, thinking about the things which only bring pain and sadness. Why can't I learn to accept the truth and move on and why does I crib a lot? If god is there then I want answers from him right now, why did I have to suffer all this? I want to ask him, If you really are someone who listens to prayers why are you not listening to mine? May be people are right in saying "God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him" because he no longer bothers to care for those who call him for help. I have asked for only one thing from you in last so many years and yet you have not bothered to grant me that wish, I'll say you are the reason for me turning into someone who doesn't believe in you.

Really a Wonder!!

“Your beauty never ceases to amaze me.”

That is just a small compliment to one of the beautiful creation I have ever seen and it seems to be more beautiful every time we meet. No doubt it is one of the 7 wonders of the world – The Taj Mahal.

I have been to Taj 4 times and every time it seems more beautiful to me than my previous visit. I just love to be there. The sheer size of the structure is what amazes me, even if you have seen it on screen, the moment you see it in person you will realize that it is way bigger than what you have thought. One should visit Agra to see Taj once in their life time. 

-_-

I don’t drink and for all those who try to force me into drinking I request not to do so. I don’t have any issues with you people drinking but when you try to convince me into that it just makes me angry. How can one enjoy his life more when on the high and not being in his/her senses, so please don’t give explanations which suit you because I wont be convinced with them. 

Chocolaty!!

A collection of some of the best quotes i have read about the thing I just love to have; CHOCOLATES


Chocolate – The best buddy.
 There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.
 Forget love ... I'd rather fall in chocolate!
 Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits.


Chocolate – The anti-depressant.
 After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies and entice lovers.
 If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?
 Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.


Chocolate – the perfect food.
 Other things are just food. But chocolate’s chocolate.
 There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate and chocolate truffles.


Chocolate – Mind over matter.
 Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces.
 There’s more to life than chocolate, but not right now.


Chocolate – The irresistible.
 Chocolate, Here today ... Gone today!
 Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
 The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!


And last a quote to change what is being taught in school,
 Never mind about 326 BC Alexander the Great, 1556 Akbar the Great. Such things are not going to affect one’s life ... but 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat - these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country.

Why?

Why do we do things which we do? Why do we behave in certain way? Isn’t everything already written in our destiny? Even if you change yourself, does it guarantee that it will change what is in store for you? Isn’t sometime being happy is the only option because being sad will not change anything? There’s a time when you believe in something and there comes a time when your belief is shattered to pieces, what you can do at that moment other than cursing your destiny? Isn’t god the supreme of all who has decided what will happen in your life? Can you fight against him? Why is he taking the test of only few? Why are there people who never face any odds throughout the life and why there are those who are against the odds every other second? WHY?

M...a Stupid Guy

Its 4.40 AM in the morning and as always I am not at all feeling sleepy. My stock of Dairy milk which I bought to use as anti-depressant over the weekend is finished and the depression fit has just began. So as a second best option after chocolates I am here scribbling down a post for my blog.

What does “being serious about life” means? I think I have been hearing this phrase a lot these days. I say I think because the very moment someone start to give me ‘Gyan’ about life I just turn off my listening device because according to me I don’t think I am not serious about life. I may not look serious, I may not utter my serious plans but I am very seriously working to seriously achieve serious targets. This post is seriously turning very serious. Wasn’t this supposed to be the second best thing after dairy milk? Oh god! Why didn’t I buy more of chocolates? So going ahead on a serious note….no just going ahead…Let me write a story about a very stupid boy who thought he is smart.

-------------------------------

M was very happy today, he found a razor lying on the table. Now M was a very naughty 5 year old kid, his parents made sure that he never gets access to razors and scissors. Just a month back he has cut open an audio cassette just to check whether the audio cassette was like a “Chirag” which housed "Djinn" to sing the songs or not. So M was kind of on cloud nine when he picked up the razor. He couldn’t believe his luck; he has been vying for a razor since many days. Although M was too young to understand the quote “When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” but I am sure he must have felt something very close to that feeling.  “I need to check razor’s sharpness”, he thought to himself. He was well versed with scientific procedure of experimenting and only then believing. He tried to check the sharpness on pieces of paper first. “Yeah it’s sharp”, he said in an enthusiastic tone. But then he realized he needed to check on something hard as he would soon be using it on such material. So he engraved his name on the arm rest of a sofa. Satisfied with the sharpness of the weapon he possessed he started for his final task. He went to the roof of his house, used a long stick to pull the main electricity lines (power cables from electricity pole to his house) into his hands and with one swift motion tried to cut the wire with the razor. What followed was a sound of a cracker bursting.

-------------------------------

That stupid guy M was me and I am very lucky to be alive still. My thumb and index finger were burnt but I was able to hide the injury from my parents. I really don’t know what led me to do this stupid act, what was I thinking but now I laugh on my stupidity and thank god for making me learn the lesson in a bit of soft way. I could have been dead or alive with a serious disability.  

I did tell this story to my Dad but only after 16 years and I still had no answer to question why did I do it? Stupid Me!!

God is there for you.

Thing to remember is that God is there for you,

He favors the one, who is always true,

For him you are among the wonderful few,

He’ll make sure with all his force,

That to your worries you bid an adieu.

Don’t listen to what others have to say,

They have a tendency; every-time saying nay,

Always standing in successful one’s way,

Not known to them is fact,

That for such acts they have to pay.

He is not the one to leave you on edge,

In his kingdom there are no fallacies no hedge,

No one can hide their wrongdoings or the grudge,

So the one who was bad to you here,

Will be punished there, that’s his pledge.

Thing to remember is that God is there for you,

He favors the one, who is always true.

Anger Management for me? naaa!!

I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life - MK Gandhi

I just love to fight, well not the brawls which involve punches being thrown on the face, into your gut but the other kind of fights which involve me getting into a verbal duel with people. I am an ardent supporter of modified version of MK Gandhi's non-violence theory which takes into account the physical violence as the only form of violence and believe in what Sir Jack Sparrow says “Why fight when we can talk ;)”.

It’s not that I am a glutton for verbal duels (although sometimes I do like to remember some of these fights so as to laugh out loud) but I have a very low specific heat as described by one of my friend and thus I tend to heat up very quickly and in the heat of the moment my tongue just becomes more efficient, more vicious in sarcasm and profanity. I try everything to control my anger which involves me biting my tongue, counting in reverse but to other person’s hard luck nothing works and it ends with other person being thrashed to pieces with words and finally leading to their death in my universe :P.

Although it is not at all advantageous to be involved in such fights but I opt for it only when there is no other option left and yes taking up diplomatic talk to avoid such fights is a strict no for me, better to fight and annoy the person than to butter them up and annoy yourself.

I don't believe in physical violence, but I have learned not to bow my head before any one even at the cost of my life and this is where my tongue helps me out - Skywalker

The Motivator

This is for the person whose continuous motivation has helped me in reviving this blog. I stopped writing on my blog due to the feeling that I am not writing anything worthwhile but your continuous support brought the belief required to write and publish my writings. I will take this opportunity to let you know that you are a precious reader I have for my writings and I now know that even if no one reads my post, you surely will and that is a belief which is enough for me to write.

Awful

Days don’t pass; you are neither awake nor asleep,

In the darkness of the night; your lonely heart weeps,

You sowed a seed of love’s tree in your mind,

But sadly it bears no fruit, so you can’t reap.

When you start to love some one, it never hurts,

It’s an awesome feeling; a feeling of comfort,

But slowly it starts turning awful,

When you realize that the other person doesn’t reverts.

Ever thine, never mine.

Love, for few is something which induces change in chemical composition of their brain, for others it is something which changes the way they spend rest of their life. For me it is the reason I have a blog, it is the reason I have written so many prose’ (although I have written lots of other stuff also), & Love (or should I say one-sided love) is the topic on which I am going to write this post on completion of three years of my blog as this blog is my love child ;).

I don’t have an experience in love but if you take one-sided love/infatuation/crush/any random liking into account, then I can say I am very experienced. Similar to love, one-sided love also has side effects, prominent among those is belief that you are in love when you actually are not. If you think about your situation after you have come out of such love you will surely laugh, but at that moment it’s surely not funny. Also you will notice many of your friends who are not in a relationship are the first ones to advice you on how to woo the other person. I just have one question for them, if you are such an expert why don’t you try and implement the advices for yourself?

There is a quote by Fyodor Dostoevsky “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid” but after all the experiences I feel it’s better not to show and be silent than to show and be vulnerable. What is more difficult? Not saying something ever or saying something very late? I feel not saying is a much better option because in that way you are not at mercy of other person, you have your emotions to your self and you surely know how to control them.

I’ll end this post with following lines & a favorite song of mine for such love :)

If you don’t believe my emotion,

You don’t deserve the truth,

How could you have my devotion?

When you don’t reciprocate.

Words should be left unsaid,

And I think its best that way,

Keeping truth with me only,

Sharing the lie, instead!