Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Why the hell people don’t use deodorants? Recently I had the misfortune of being in the company of people who were sweating profusely, had not used any deodorant & were ready to latch on to any chance provided to them to spread the shitty smell of their sweat to the people close to them, physically close. When you are subjected to such an aromatic torture, it’s a curse to have a strong sense of smell.

I was traveling in a Metro and it was peak hour, there was absolutely no place to move around left in there and then there were people who wanted to share their body odors with the world. I think in those 30 minutes I may have broken the Guinness record of holding on to number of successive breaths for long durations i.e. I think I took only 3-4 breaths in those 30 minutes.

To distract myself from breathing I started thinking some really weird things when I was going through those 30 minutes of olfactory torture, when my life hung in balance:
  • If some one enters into the metro wagon with a gun and shouts “Hands up”. What will cause more casualties, not following that order or following that?
  • Can prolonged exposure to such smells cause mutations? If yes then, we may have the first class of X-men here in New Delhi soon; after all we have long and humid summers here.
  • How many deaths/or fainting in metro due to this will it take for Delhi Metro Rail Corporation to pass on a resolution to provide every metro passenger with 5/10 ml of perfume upon entering the metro station?
  • Can this odor be used to induce forced coma or at-least as a replacement for Anesthesia? It did left my olfactory lobe senseless for an hour or so.
  • I seriously considered the thought of bringing a deodorant can with myself during my next metro ride so as to spray on anyone who is torturing the olfactory lobes. That can be considered as social service; many people will be saved this way.

When the people from other countries say that Indians smell bad, they really are correct; I don’t know why people here are not conscious about their body odor, it should be the first thing they should notice unless they have Anosmia (No sense of smell).

Please use a deodorant/talcum powder for others sake.


I.So.Dope said...

Seems a bit pretentious.You should focus on your writing more

Skywalker said...

i went through all this boy.... was armageddon there ;)

Richa said...

Haha.. Really enjoyed every bit of it.
Even I have experienced such incidents in Metro. Ugh! Ugh!
Don't these people have noses? Can't they smell their body odour?? Ugh!

swati said...

haha.... all i did while reading was this!!! :D :D

Abhi said...

By the topic "Aromas", i thot it wud b another romantic thriller as aroma is generally referred to pleasant smell :)
Nice funny thoughts !!!

Vivacious said...

haha maza agya padhke...:D .. Good one...;p .Even when I started reading i thought it must be abt coffee aroma or so...par waah waah kya sach likha hai..:)

Skywalker said...

@Richa: it does seem so..either they don't have the nose or the sense of smell is finished.

@Abhi: Aroma is anything which can be smelled, 90% of the times it is used for fragrances but it can be used for foul smells too.

@Vivacious & swati: u r comments are always welcomed